10 Funny Ways to Kill a (Fictional) Character

Do you enjoy cozy mysteries where the author finds unique, even funny, ways to do away with a character? I do. One of my favorite authors is Kathleen Ernst. She writes the Chloe Ellefson mystery series. Chloe is a curator at Old World Wisconsin, an outdoor living history museum. She finds dead characters in the most unusual places. I won’t give them away. If you enjoy cozy mysteries give the Chloe series a try.

When you combine an unusual death (minus the gore), an amateur sleuth, and a community of quirky characters, you can create a cozy mystery readers love.

What are some humorous ways to kill off a character? Here are a few ideas:

• A star football player is murdered by an imposter wearing his team’s mascot costume.

• Small-town mayor dies when a clown on a motorcycle runs over him during the town’s Founder’s Day parade.

• A futuristic character is approached by a robot shooting paper airplanes–but one of the airplanes is loaded!

• Farmer gets locked in the hen house and is pecked to death by rabid chickens.

• A drunk passes out in a big pile of leaves curbside and is scooped into a garbage truck.

• Candymaker, working overtime and alone, drowns in a vat of chocolate.

• Contestant dies after consuming 10 pounds of baked beans in an eating contest. (Oh, the possibilities!)

• Grammarian is crushed when a shelf of dictionaries falls on her.

• A fisherman on a riverbank is killed when an eagle carrying a tortoise drops the tortoise on the fisherman’s head. (Don’t laugh, this really happened to Aeschylus, the great Athenian author of tragedies.)

• A large molasses storage tank bursts, and a wave of molasses rushes through the streets killing anyone in its path. (This actually happened in Boston in 1919.)

If you are an author stuck looking for a unique way to kill off a character, Wikipedia offers a list of “real” unusual/ ironic deaths that occurred from 620 BC to the present. Also, check out Springhole.net’s “Cause of Death” generator, “Murder Mystery Victim” generator, and more.

Happy writing!

___________________________

If you are on Facebook, Check out my page
where I post articles and inspiration for writers.

_____________________________

*NOTE: Any ads appearing in this post were not put there by me nor do I endorse them. WordPress sometimes posts ads in exchange for hosting this free blog.

Word Game: Can You Find the Oxymorons?

A friend told me, “I want to listen to the news and know what’s going on in the world, but it’s really hard listening when the news is all bad.” She’s not alone. But, what if there were a word game to play, something fun to do while listening to all that bad news? Fun and bad news. Total opposites! Somewhat similar to an oxymoron—a figure of speech, usually one or two words, in which seemingly contradictory terms appear side by side. (organized mess, controlled chaos).

Without diminishing the importance of today’s news and current events, here’s a word game you can play while listening to the news. Following is a list of 100 oxymorons commonly heard in current news reports and news-related talk shows. When listening is difficult, focus on finding the words! See how long it takes before you’ve found them all.

A
alone together
altogether separate
anyone
anxious patient

B
ball diamond
bar opening
barely dressed (without a mask!)
behaving badly

C
checkpoint
clearly confused
conspicuous absence
constant change
constructive criticism
conventional wisdom
come away
criminal justice
civil war

“Words are chameleons, which reflect the color of their environment.”—Learned Hand

D
defensive attack
disaster relief
doing nothing

E
easy task
emotional reasoning
extensive briefing

F
feeling numb
fine mess
forced choice
free will

G
global village
going nowhere
great depression

H
head butt
highly depressed
home office
hopelessly optimistic

“Words are potent weapons for all causes, good or bad.”—Manly Hall

I
ill health
increasing losses
incredibly real
initial results

J
job security
journalistic integrity
junk food

L
lonesome
loyal opposition 

M
mandatory option
missing here

N
new normal
never again

“How often misused words generate misleading thoughts.”—Herbert Spencer

O
occupied space
objective opinion
obstructed view
only choice
open bar
ordinary event
outcome 

“Words are the most powerful thing in the universe… Words are containers. They contain faith, or fear, and they produce after their kind.”—Charles Capps

P
passive resistance
peaceful offense
permanent change
personal business
political party
press release
pretty ugly
preposterous
private citizen
progressively worse

Q
qualitative data
questionable answer
quiet rage
quite unlikely

R
recorded live
required elective
restless sleep
riot control
rising deficit
roadblock
rough finish 

S
scale down
set off
short distance
slow speed
small army
social  distance
spectator sport
stand down
storehouse
strangely familiar

“No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world.” —John Keating

T
taped live
tax cut
tax free
tense calm
terribly good
true story 

U
unacceptable solution
unbiased opinion
unusual routine

V
very little
victimless crime

W
whenever
willful negligence

Y
young adult

Z
zero deficit

___________________________

If you are on Facebook, Check out my page
where I post articles and inspiration for writers.

_____________________________

*NOTE: Any ads appearing in this post were not put there by me nor do I endorse them. WordPress sometimes posts ads in exchange for hosting this free blog.

Ten of the Best Cartoons About Writing

Maybe you need a laugh today?
Here are ten of the best cartoons about writers and writing. 

You might also like Ten of the Funniest Cartoons About Writing. I often post cartoons about writers and writing on my Facebook page . Come on over and see what’s new.

__________________________________________

If you are on Facebook, Check out my page where I post articles
and inspiration for writers.

_____________________________

*NOTE: Any ads appearing in this post were not put there by me nor do I endorse them. WordPress sometimes posts ads in exchange for hosting this free blog.