10 Funny Ways to Kill a (Fictional) Character

Do you enjoy cozy mysteries where the author finds unique, even funny, ways to do away with a character? I do. One of my favorite authors is Kathleen Ernst. She writes the Chloe Ellefson mystery series. Chloe is a curator at Old World Wisconsin, an outdoor living history museum. She finds dead characters in the most unusual places. I won’t give them away. If you enjoy cozy mysteries give the Chloe series a try.

When you combine an unusual death (minus the gore), an amateur sleuth, and a community of quirky characters, you can create a cozy mystery readers love.

What are some humorous ways to kill off a character? Here are a few ideas:

• A star football player is murdered by an imposter wearing his team’s mascot costume.

• Small-town mayor dies when a clown on a motorcycle runs over him during the town’s Founder’s Day parade.

• A futuristic character is approached by a robot shooting paper airplanes–but one of the airplanes is loaded!

• Farmer gets locked in the hen house and is pecked to death by rabid chickens.

• A drunk passes out in a big pile of leaves curbside and is scooped into a garbage truck.

• Candymaker, working overtime and alone, drowns in a vat of chocolate.

• Contestant dies after consuming 10 pounds of baked beans in an eating contest. (Oh, the possibilities!)

• Grammarian is crushed when a shelf of dictionaries falls on her.

• A fisherman on a riverbank is killed when an eagle carrying a tortoise drops the tortoise on the fisherman’s head. (Don’t laugh, this really happened to Aeschylus, the great Athenian author of tragedies.)

• A large molasses storage tank bursts, and a wave of molasses rushes through the streets killing anyone in its path. (This actually happened in Boston in 1919.)

If you are an author stuck looking for a unique way to kill off a character, Wikipedia offers a list of “real” unusual/ ironic deaths that occurred from 620 BC to the present. Also, check out Springhole.net’s “Cause of Death” generator, “Murder Mystery Victim” generator, and more.

Happy writing!

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What’s in a (Character’s) Name?

I have a new kitten, a little silver-gray tabby four months old. At the shelter, they called her “Hedwig”, it’s the name author J.K. Rowling gave the snowy-white owl in her Harry Potter books. My kitty isn’t white. She doesn’t look like an owl, act like an owl, or sound like an owl. She needed a name that fit her.

Authors put much thought into naming their characters. A name should mean something, reflect the character’s personality, or make the reader curious to know more. I named my kitten “Naomi Grace”. In the bible, Naomi is a recent widow who would have been all alone if, by God’s grace, her daughter-in-law promised never to leave her. I want my little Naomi always to have someone who will never leave her. Mine is her forever home. Her name reflects that.

Think about some of the great literary character names that readers remember—Atticus Finch, Ebenezer Scrooge, Robinson Crusoe, Ramona (the pest) Quimby, Miss Havisham—all were carefully chosen by authors to reflect the essence of their characters.

So, how do authors choose the best character names? Imagination and creativity are key, but if the perfect name doesn’t come to mind, there are tools that can help.

The US Social Security Administration web site includes a page where you can search names and their popularity for any year after 1879. You can search the most common names in US states and territories and even see how names have changed by popularity through the years.

Ancestry.com has a page where you can enter any surname and learn its meaning and origin. The page is free, you don’t have to be an Ancestry subscriber.

Name Combiner is a fun tool where you can enter up to four names and combine them to generate unique names and nicknames.

Here are some others:

Masterpiece Generator (from the UK)

Reedsy’s Character Name Generator

Name Generator for Fun (this one creates a random personality type for each character name)

If you enjoy exploring random places, seek out any small town and read about its history and people. You can also wander among old headstones in cemeteries. Jot down interesting names you find and keep a list.

A name should fit the character’s age, location, and personality. It should be easy to pronounce and fit your story’s genre making sense within the context of time and theme. Think about your characters’ parents and backgrounds. Let them help you choose the right names.

When naming characters
choose names that are right
for your character, your story and your readers.

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How a Mindset List can Help Your Writing

Every August, Beloit College releases its Beloit College Mindset List to help professors understand the mindset of high school students entering college in the fall. A similar list can also work for writers. Look at this year’s list and consider how a mindset list might help with your writing.

 

(The Beloit College Mindset List ©2015 Beloit College)

Students heading into their first year of college this year are mostly 18 and were born in 1997. Among those who have never been alive in their lifetimes are Princess Diana, Notorious B.I.G., Jacques Cousteau, and Mother Teresa. Joining them in the world the year they were born were Dolly the sheep, The McCaughey septuplets, and Michael “Prince” Jackson Jr.

Since they have been on the planet:

1. Hybrid automobiles have always been mass produced.
2. Google has always been there, in its founding words, “to organize the world’s information and make it universally accessible.”
3. They have never licked a postage stamp.
4. Email has become the new “formal” communication, while texts and tweets remain enclaves for the casual.
5. Four foul-mouthed kids have always been playing in South Park.
6. Hong Kong has always been under Chinese rule.
7. They have grown up treating Wi-Fi as an entitlement.
8. The NCAA has always had a precise means to determine a national champion in college football.
9. The announcement of someone being the “first woman” to hold a position has only impressed their parents.
10. Charlton Heston is recognized for waving a rifle over his head as much as for waving his staff over the Red Sea.
11. Color photos have always adorned the front page of The New York Times.
12. Ellis Island has always been primarily in New Jersey.
13. “No means no” has always been morphing, slowly, into “only yes means yes.”
14. Cell phones have become so ubiquitous in class that teachers don’t know which students are using them to take notes and which ones are planning a party.
15. The Airport in Washington, D.C., has always been Reagan National Airport.
16. Their parents have gone from encouraging them to use the Internet to begging them to get off it.
17. If you say “around the turn of the century,” they may well ask you, “which one?”
18. They have avidly joined Harry Potter, Ron, and Hermione as they built their reading skills through all seven volumes.
19. Attempts at human cloning have never been federally funded but do require FDA approval.
20. “Crosstown Classic” and the “Battle of the Bay” have always been among the most popular interleague rivalries in Major League Baseball.
21. Carry Me Back to Old Virginny has never been the official song of the Virginia Commonwealth.
22. Phish Food has always been available from Ben and Jerry.
23. Kyoto has always symbolized inactivity about global climate change.
24. When they were born, cell phone usage was so expensive that families only used their large phones, usually in cars, for emergencies.
25. The therapeutic use of marijuana has always been legal in a growing number of American states.
26. The eyes of Texas have never looked upon The Houston Oilers.
27. Teachers have always had to insist that term papers employ sources in addition to those found online.
28. In a world of DNA testing, the Tomb of the Unknowns at Arlington has never included a Vietnam War veteran “known only to God.”
29. Playhouse Disney was a place where they could play growing up.
30. Surgeons have always used “super glue” in the operating room.
31. Fifteen nations have always been constructing the International Space Station.
32. The Lion King has always been on Broadway.
33. Phoenix Lights is a series of UFO sightings, not a filtered cigarette.
34. Scotland and Wales have always had their own parliaments and assemblies.
35. At least Mom and Dad had their new Nintendo 64 to help them get through long nights sitting up with the baby.
36. First Responders have always been heroes.
37. Sir Paul and Sir Elton have always been knights of the same musical roundtable.
38. CNN has always been available en Español.
39. Heaven’s Gate has always been more a trip to Comet Hale-Bopp and less a film flop.
40. Splenda has always been a sweet option in the U.S.
41. The Atlanta Braves have always played at Turner Field.
42. Poland, Hungary, and the Czech Republic have always been members of NATO.
43. Humans have always had implanted radio frequency ID chips—slightly larger than a grain of rice.
44. TV has always been in such high definition that they could see the pores of actors and the grimaces of quarterbacks.
45. Mr. Jones and Mr. Smith have always been Men in Black, not their next-door neighbors.
46. The proud parents recorded their first steps on camcorders, mounted on their shoulders like bazookas.
47. They had no idea how fortunate they were to enjoy the final four years of Federal budget surpluses.
48. Amoco gas stations have steadily vanished from the American highway.
49. Vote-by-mail has always been the official way to vote in Oregon.
50. …and there has always been a Beloit College Mindset List.

Creating a mindset list can serve writers in two different ways. It can provide them with insight into their intended audience, and by making a mindset list for each character in a story, writers can be accurate about where and how their characters exist in time.

Learn more about the Beloit College Mindset List HERE.

Meet the creators:

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