I don’t know who compiled this list of fractured analogies, but it’s hilarious.
“A bad analogy is like opening up a crisper drawer in the refrigerator and saying, ‘What used to be that?'”
“She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.”
“The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.”
“McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.”
“Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.”
“Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.”
“Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.”
“He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.”
“Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.”
“He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.”
“The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.”
“The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.”
“John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.”
“The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.”
“His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.”
“The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.”
And to my blog followers: I love you as much as I love a crunchy pecan in the last soupy spoonful of butter pecan ice cream in the bottom of a pint-sized carton!
Can you top these? Add your own in the Comments section.